My Toddler Bosses
Back at the start of the New Year, I left classroom teaching to venture out freelance writing and home tutoring. I’ve not really said much about this until recently- even in real life- as it was all a bit of a risk. However, six months down the line and I appear to be (I think?) pulling it off…
Somebody asked me the other day: "Do you like being your own Boss?"
And I realised that I've not considered it that way at all! This is because- bringing me back down to earth- are two gorgeous daughters, AKA....
My Toddler Bosses.
So, here’s why toddlers are the ones at the top:
Toddler Bosses like supervising: “Mummy! DO the puzzle!” two-year-old Tot instructed, the other day.
Only naturally, I was trialling different pieces of puzzle together, when Tot started taking parts off me and butting in:
"That not go there, Mummy!" "That not the fairy!"
"Not that one, Mummy!"
This went on and on, until I felt utterly demoralised about my own logistical ability (but very impressed at Tot's!) It was a 45-piece jigsaw, which I think is ambitious by anybody's standards, right?!
Since then, I have gone on to help her with that very same puzzle about 60,000 times and I could now probably do it with my eyes closed, standing on my head. That's love, isn't it?!
Toddler Bosses like to know where you are... at all times. Sometimes, I nip into the kitchen and the wailing sound of MUUMMMMYYY cries out. I am followed by two weeping toddlers, weighted in woe- their arms outstretched in a way that would put the cast of Les Mis to shame!
Toddler Bosses listen, then do their own thing anyway:
Tot wanted to jump off our bed. Our bed is very high, with a wardrobe right next to it, so- naturally- I said: “No, you’ll hurt yourself!” But, because Tot takes a lot of inspiration from Peter Rabbit, she exclaimed: “A GOOD RABBIT NEVER GIVES UP, MUMMY!” as she then plunged off the bed.
I've always been pleased about Tot's early leanings towards this Literary Great, but I am since questioning the morality of this talking, half-nude rabbit. This is because, Tot has also been known to declare, "RABBIT'S ARE BRAVE, MUMMY!" whilst doing a runner mid supermarket shop, claiming that I am "THE SCARY BADGER...!"
Toddler Bosses say they'll do it themselves
Little Babe, who is 15months, is developing rather quickly (following her sister's footsteps?!) But one thing she likes to do is use a spoon and a fork herself! If I try to help, she flaps her hands at me like a bird on fire.
However, Little Babe hasn't quite grasped portion size yet. With her porridge, for example, she scoops up such a sizable amount onto her spoon that- by the time it reaches her mouth- it looks as if she's been caught in an avalanche. And if she's been eating anything tomato-based, it's like we invited Baby David Dickinson to tea...?
With her fork, it's a little painful watching her stab things several times. Poor food. But again, if I try and intervene, Little Babe will wave the fork around, giving Penne Pasta a free helipcopter ride. It feels a little mean but, as I say, she makes it very clear she will do it herself! Kids gotta learn, huh?!
Toddler Bosses ask unneccessary questions
"Can I see the poo?"
This is commonly asked by Tot, who is not yet toilet trained but is starting to show "interest" (I think?? Is this interest, though??) She requests to see "poo in the nappy" of either herself or Little Babe. Whenever it's her sister's, however, I am amused by the way Tot re-words her sentence:
"Can I see her SMELLY poo?"
I don’t need to go into too much detail, as I don’t really like talking about poo, but what I will say is that it’s a very odd experience, examining different poos, with a toddler providing commentary on each one...
So overall, I am kept very busy by Tot and Little Babe, as well as my actual work.
And to be truthful, I have always been fortunate to work for great real-life bosses! That said- whilst these little ones are possibly the most 'demanding' of the lot- I am pretty confident my awesome Toddler Bosses are up amongst The Best!
