How Not to Tidy Up with a Toddler

Some days it seems like housework is a doddle: tot plays; I clean; we break it up with a game; I clean some more....job's a good'en. 

Other days...well...just not so.

Tidying up and cleaning can be a mission with a 17 month old in tow, but there was one day recently that just had me chuckling!! After this particular day, I compiled a mental note (to future self) on what I learnt as the morning progressed.

In future, when cleaning the bathroom, I must move toilet paper out of tot's reach. 

Whilst the toilet bowl was attempting to look glitzy after my scrubbing efforts, I turned around to discover what looked like a brawl had broken out between The Snowman and The Snowdog, due to the amount of little bits of white loo roll scattered all across the floor. 

Toilet roll out of the way, I thought I'd empty the washing machine. I read somewhere that tot is now at an age where we can introduce her to joining in with basic chores: brilliant, I thought- helping to get the washing out of the machine would be a useful thing for her to do, as I slung each item over the 'clothes horse' (why are they called that??!) 

This was all going well, and I was thinking how amazing it was and how easy this job would be from now on... until....

Tot decided half way through that she'd like to take the washing back off the clothes horse (that is what they're called, isn't it?!) and return the damp clothes to the washing machine! Arg! All in all, I ended up pretty much back where we'd started, so I shut the washing machine door and thought, 'that'll be a job for later.' Job 2 unsuccessful. 

 After the bathroom, the hallway seemed like a safe option: all that was required was a shoe tidy up.... but I was yet to discover that shoes are the epitomy of fun!! 

Whilst I decided they'd look much tidier lined up on the shoe rack, tot thought they'd look better as ornamental objects around the house....one on the stairs...one on the highchair. ...one on the drawers...

I could seriously apply to be a Swashbuckler (Cbeebies pirate game show) with the practise that I got trying to collect all the shoes and ram them onto the rack before tot had the chance to grab the next one! 

In fact...I wonder if I'm onto something here.... forget the old skool Supermarket Sweep- bring back Dale Winton for a 2016 revamp 'Mum VS Toddler Tidy Up!'

Very little progress was being made. 

Intervention was required. Toys were apparently redundant today and so I was hopeful a change of scenery might do the trick. Upstairs to her bedroom we went! 

Here I wanted to attempt to put away some of her clothes. She, meanwhile, could do her stickers. Our little lady loves stickers. She loves peeling them off and putting them onto paper to make a picture. She usually sits beautifully when we are doing this together. However, on this particular day, she decided to invest her energy into a sticker riot instead. There's me, sorting little clothes into little piles: 'leggings;' 'vests;' 'cute cardigans...' and in mere moments there were suddenly stickers on our child's face and on her socks and on the changing mat and on the cot and up the door!! What a quick sticker ninja!! What's more amusing is that the stickers she had were school stickers (#lifeofateacher,) so her bedroom looked like some sort of celebratory classroom with 'well done' plastered all over the place. Either that or it looked an extremely OTT approach to positive parental praise...

In a last bid to complete something that resembled a chore, I lowered my expectations and thought: just vacuum one room. One room. The smallest room. Her room.

Stickers collected, I lugged the old Vax into her bedroom and asked her to step aside, which she did. Now, I don't know whether this is just our tot, but she's gone from hating the 'hoover' to now being amazed by it, and on this particular morning she'd got her confidence up. Just as I started pushing it around the room she suddenly stepped out right in front of it- Lollipop lady style- and began shouting at it! Yes- shouting at it!? Waggling her finger, she started telling it off- or at least that's what I assume she was doing (she still talks in Polish or something at the minute!) I proceeded to move her aside again...and then....PING...there she was finger-shouting at it again!? This went on. It was impossible to vacuum, unless I wanted to bump my own daughter with the large electrical object. Never would my pre-parent self have thought this would be the type of scenario I would encounter. What was I supposed to do? I doubt even 'parent classes' teach vacuum-child-dodging!

After all of this unproductive productivity, I caved in. Enough was enough. I unplugged the vacuum. It was time to run for the hills (aka Kids Cafe and a fresh air walk along Sandown beach. Can't complain.) 

It was one of those days when the house would just have to look like the set of some satirical disaster movie: a cross between Jurassic Park meets Home Alone meets Toy Story meets...

Wait....I think I've just described Jumaji??! Crikey. I wonder if the screenwriter of Jumaji had had a day trying to tidy up with a toddler when they went and penned the film?!?

Anyway, lessons are being learnt and some jobs just have to wait. Tot is brilliant: I've got to give it to the girl, she must know that tidying up is actually incredibly boring for us all and she does liven it up; add elements of risk; and occssionally makes sure it's almost impossible to do. To tell the truth, I can only be thankful not doing all the chores effectively leads to more fun....(but I should add that I'm writing this on a weekend where the house is relatively tidy... )

Just don't quote me on this midweek, when we're fishing dirty forks from the bottom of the sink just to find any clean eating implement...!