Contraception & Cheeseballs in Children's Books

As an English teacher, it goes without saying how much I love to read to baby. I started reading to her pretty soon after she emerged into the world, even if she did have her eyes shut half the time as a newborn. We've got a great collection of books (thanks mainly to the English Department at work) which we've happily read and read again. BUT...doing this has given me the chance to inspect the pictures in more detail and I've noticed some things which just seem a little... well... 

I'll let you decide for yourselves:

The Gruffalo

Love this book. Love it so much I've got an idea for a page they could add in...

His nostrils flare; his paws are like cubes; and on his chest are genuine man boobs. (Yep. This does set the tone for the maturity level for the rest of this blog post...!!)

The Tiger Who Came to Tea

Forget Stacey's Mom. Sophie's Mum has got it going on (in terms of her dress sense.) I can't be the only one to think those cable-knit tights and that cute collared dress make a great combo?! What a cashmir Queen! She's definitely shopped at Joules... Or am I just aspiring to Sophie's Mummy's fashion sense now I'm a Mummy myself? Hmmm....I do wear my hair like that now...

Some Dogs Do

Lovely book, but I can't help seeing a cheeseball crisp in the sky. 

Haha. Hahaha.

Wake Up Do, Lydia Lou

Errrmmm...WHERE IS HER FACE?!

Are those lines meant to be eyebrows? If so they are certainly not on fleek (new term I've learnt from my younger cousin...apparently you want your eyebrows to be on fleek?!!?) 

Faceless Lydia Lou is wholly disturbing. #bringbackherface

Mr Men and Little Miss Books

Awwhh...Little Miss and Mr Men!

But on the topic of eyebrows, how did their eyebrows fall down??

Winnie the Pooh (an adapted version)

Talking of facial features, I know this may be an adapted version, but I am curious:

Why is Winnie's eye inside his nose?? 

The Very Hungry Caterpillar

And no wonder the caterpillar is very hungry- he does not have a mouth.

The Dong with a Luminous Nose

The title of the book says it all really.

But I just want to take a moment to appreciate and salute the illustrator, Gerald Rose, for not drawing inappropriate things when asked to produce 'dong' pictures for this book!

I think Gerald has done really well to show us that a dong must actually be an elf-styled-horned-and-heeled-wearing creature with a tail and a limp... 

A whole-hearted effort to distract from any sort of innuendo. Well done, Gerald!

Room on the Broom

The witch's nose...Now that's a DONG!

I Wish I Were a Pilot

And I'm not even trying to make dong references anymore... BUT-

THERE'S GENUINE CONTRACEPTION IN THE SEA!

Crikey. 

I'm getting out of hand!

I'll stop there... has anybody else found anything worth sniggering over in their child's book?!

Please do feel free to share your 'findings' with me - I'll be entertained!

Enjoy!! :)

P.S. I hope you don't take this blog post as a critique of well-loved books and their illustrations. That would be very unfair and hypocritical...Once in Year 9 Art lesson I produced a collage whereby I glued a beaver photo inbetween a pair of legs and I had absolutely no idea why the teacher was hysterical and suggested I take my work home...