Who would win in a fight?
This week I've been pondering some of life's medium-sized questions. Just before sleep one night, I turned to my husband and questioned, “Do you think a fox or a badger killed the chickens?”
To put this into context, a few months ago we had 6 chickens. The Circle of Life consumed them: it was unfortunately just one of those things.
At the time I'd been so busy being a heavily pregnant teacher that I hadn't really mused over the event, so I turned to my husband with my burning question, “Badger or fox?”
He said it had to be “fox.”
“How can you be so sure?” I pursued.
His reply, “I've seen one...” and so forth.
The conversation went on until I finally understood it was a fox.
“OK,” I said. There was some silence then. The topic seemed concluded; he was drifting off to sleep...and then...a new question started to burn the end of my tongue...I had no idea why this question had appeared in my head, but I had to ask: “Who would win in a fight between a badger and a fox?”
From here, my husband became alert; hooked by the conversation and giggling away (apparently I reminded him of Ricky Gervais' 'Derek!?') But I was just excited by 'real' conversation (I'd spent the whole day indoors gargling to baby or answering people's questions on TV. Jeremy Kyle: “Will Tracy be able to forgive Trevor for stealing her tenner?” Me: “Well, Jeremy, I think....”)
Anyway, our once 'serious' conversation began to border the ridiculous. I asked him who would win in a fight between him and Olly Murs (we agreed my strapping husband!!) Then my husband asked me who would win in a fight between me and Mary Berry. I resolved I would win because I would turn away from her and kick out backwards like a donkey. Whilst she'd be distracted by my donkey leg, I'd then grasp my hands like in a hammer-throw and swipe around and BAM!*
*I'd just like to point out I have absolutely nothing against Mary Berry or Olly Murs. I actually really like them both as celebrities, which is probably why they were susceptible to our hypothetical fights.
I don't think I could be much of a fighter anyway, but everyone has a defence plan, don't they? When I was at Uni I used to carry an Impulse body spray in my handbag to spray 'criminals' in the eyes if they were to accost me. As you can see, my ideas have now advanced.
Ridiculousness aside (yeah right....) in other news this week my sister is now on maternity leave too and we are waiting for her to 'pop.' It's been lovely to hang out with her and at one point last week we went to the library and realised babies are such jokers. My baba was quiet as a mouse outside the library, lulled away in her pram. The minute we entered the library- WAAAAA- shrieking cries- fist pumps- the lot! The second we left the library- not a peep of a sound from baba. Great banter.
I also thought I better do some exercise. In particular, some post baby tummy toning (ever the optimist.) I happened to come across a Bollywood tummy toning video on YouTube and set about copying the instructor. Let's just say I looked more Lost Octopus than Bollywood Belly Dancer.
Finally, I've begun writing some reviews and adding them to this blog site (I know, just another limp excuse to hide from that dishwasher!!) So, if you have any ideas or feedback, feel free to let me know.
Oh- one more thing before I sign off (if you really want to know)....my brother-in-law found the answer to 'badger or fox' on YouTube...
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